That's a loan

 That's a loan

 It was raining very hard that evening, I put on a sweater in my bedroom on the second floor with the sound of rain hitting the huge window, water droplets on the glass and a slight chill. I lived here alone. I am because I am not married and this wonderful residence has been given to me by the company in which I am the director of finance. I have also hired an employee for my convenience, who also prepares food and does other work. Amidst all these comforts, I feel alone. I often talk to Tehnai's ghost, but my employees and friends think I'm addicted to self-talk.

 I was standing by the window looking at the rain and the garden below, when my servant came in with a soft knock and said, Mushtaq Sahib has come and is saying that he has suddenly had to go to his village. I wanted to borrow money. I asked for the money and went out and gave it to Mushtaq Sahib. When I came in, my employee said, "Let me ask you one thing, won't you be angry?" I said ask, he said, people say about you that you lend a lot and never ask for it back, even if no one returns it, you remain silent. Why is that, half of it is to return

 Yes, man, I am doing it, I am trying to clear the debt owed on me, I said in a lost tone, which does not take the name of clearing.

 What debt sir, can you have any debt? Dil does not accept this, he said in a confused tone.

 I said yes man, I just have some debt so much that even if I keep paying it all my life, I won't be able to get it off

 When I said that, the employee looked at me as if my mental balance was not right and went out looking at me with sympathetic eyes. When he was gone, my mind took me years back to my village.

Like every year, that fateful occasion came and went when we reached home from school with our respective result cards, like every year Sammy's marks were a hundred and fifty more than mine, every year. Sammy's Beji heard my numbers in front of my mother and said, as long as you are a boy, you don't care, otherwise your son is much more intelligent than my Sammy. On hearing this, Sammy smiled so slightly that only I could see it and looked down. "Evidence" of self-talk while watching

 These words of his hurt my ego, but I could not do anything and there were many reasons for my helplessness, my pocket money was often depleted and he would shrink from it under the pretext of borrowing, and I had a firm intention. That after growing up, when he would get a job, he would pay back his loan from the very first salary. Sometimes when he refused to eat because the desired curry was not cooked, sometimes she would bring her chicken egg or cooked curry from home and the main reason was that she and I got free tuition from my father together. Reading and a small complaint of it could have made a big impression on my face.

 Our houses were also close and the community was also close, his father and my father were also friends and relatives also loved me like my mother and her sisters.

 He and my father maintained a good friendship for the next year, first my father fell ill suddenly and went to Allah Mian one night, a few months later his father also died suddenly in an accident. After two or four months, all the happiness and smiles of our two families faded away, sometimes there was a problem of flour, sometimes there was no ghee, sometimes there was no money for clothes, sometimes there was no money for shoes. He died.

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 Although life is a very tough thing, but when it comes to pricking, it pierces the body, rips the hearts, if one need is fulfilled a little, then another one raises its head, sometimes they help us, sometimes we help them. . After Matric she easily got admission in a government girls college in a nearby city on the basis of marks whereas I got admission in a private college in the same city simply because the fees were high and hence the number of students there. was significantly less.

 When the annual exam approached, the difficult phase of exam fees started, both the families began to struggle, she was in a government college, so her fee was very low, while mine was more than double her fee. , His Beji arranged the full amount of his fee ahead of time while my fee amount was out of my mother's bus.

 One night my mother sat me down and placed all her constraints in front of me and told me that she did not have money for my examination fees which were not paid despite all her efforts, then told that it was probably the Lord's will. You leave education. Although my mother did not tell me, everything was clear to me, although I was not a brilliant student and never had any outstanding performance in the academic field, but where the end of my education broke me, the thought also shook me. She said that by continuing her education, Sammy will not only surpass me, but a wall will be erected between my world and hers. I had forgotten all the four-wheelers, I would just stay at home or roam around in the fields in the evenings.

 After two or three days, Amma gave me the good news that my fee was settled, I went to college in the morning and deposited the fee and then for the first time forgot everything and started preparing for the exam.

 I passed and got admission in the university, but I had to stay in a hostel in the city because it was not possible to come home every day.

Meanwhile, two major changes came in my life, one was when I found out about Sammy that she dropped out, the truth is that I felt very sad for her, she was very intelligent, hardworking and had an excellent academic record. Now it was rare to meet her because I could not go to the village every week. Not only was the study difficult in the university, but like every good university, in this university too, at the beginning of the year, the students and the girls had individual and group levels. But the competition started based on excellence in the field of education, so most of the weekends were spent in studying and making presentations.

 I competed all my life and raised the flags of my achievements, and then came out of the university with an excellent degree, the most famous account and audit firm of the country itself offered me an internship and after the successful completion of the internship. I was offered an excellent position in the same firm and today I am the Director Finance in the same firm.

 My mother has left this place, so now I rarely go to the village, yes, when I last met my mother many years ago, I stayed in the village for several days, Sammy got married and lived in another city. One night, Sammy was mentioned in the conversation, and it was found that her husband was very strict in his habits and less educated. .

 I felt very sorry and told my mother that I wish Sammy had not left his studies, then he would have been married to a better person

 After hearing this, mother looked at me with a very sad look and asked, do you know why Sammy left his studies? Oh, I never thought of this, why mom? You tell me.

 Then when mom told me, I felt the ground slipping from under my feet and I was suspended in the air like a broken leaf of a tree, mom was saying you remember the college exam fee? Which we did not have, so I had decided to give up your education.

 Yes mom, I remember it and the very next day you arranged my fee from somewhere and I was admitted.

 The son was not able to manage it and Sammy gave me your fee money from his fee money and he could not get admission if he did not have his fee money left.

 With the sound of a sneeze, the idol inside me was shattered, the human inside me was shattered, now I can't even see eye to eye with myself, no one can ask for a loan but it is a loan that It doesn't come off.